"I would rike to say" GOOD PARTY!
Topic: Work Rants
Fuck I’m disillusioned, the force that governs my funniness is a bit on the “non existence” side at the moment so expect more sarcastic observations then anything else…I’d wait til tomorrow to write this but I know “some people” will have a fucking coronary if I don’t post the random craptacual-ness of the Samsung Christmas party.

I don’t even find it ironic (‘cause I’m started to expect this sort of thing now) that the one day I have an event to go to that’s offering free din-din is the very dad my dad is offering to take me out to lunch on him. I couldn’t pass down the chance to lower the weight of my father’s wallet so with a “haha this is going to cost ya 14.99 plus tax!” smile I ate my salmon and rice. Of course I over ate and was all yucky bloated when it was time to put on my party clothes (which are summed up as all black with red tie). It’s my own fault and worth it! I mean, how often do I get chances to stick it to dear old daddy-kins?

After numerous phone calls from Theresa while I was trying to gearing up and de-funk myself-- rule of thumb: don’t call someone when they’re trying to get ready just to ask “are you leaving now?” SO not going to make them get ready faster – I was on my way to Samsung to meet up with Theresa.

Fast forward to arrival to Samsung

Meet up with Theresa at my building and gave her the grand tour of the ninth gate of bullshit hell—she thought it was nice (but she doesn’t work here so her opinion doesn’t count). Yeah, with all the people gone it’s cool *pft*

After the tour (oh, meet up with Abby and her friend while touring the building) we waited in the lobby for the shuttle…now when I think of “shuttle” I think of a nice coach bus…is that what drove up the snowy pavement of 55 Standish crt. NOPE! We got yellow School buses fresh off the Holy Name of Mary parking lot. Ever look around a room at 25 “you fucking serious” expressions…well now I can say I have and all thanks to Samsung.

We boarded the bus and Theresa decides that we had to sit in the back ‘cause that’s where the “cool people” sit. *rolls eyes* riiiight, we in semi-formal wear boarding a fucking school bus…we’re a little far from “cool.” But whatever, I humored her – plus I really hate a lot of my co-workers (not for any reason but *shrug* being anti-social is a way of life) and they were all up front.

Things to do in the back of the school bus when you’re passed 20 and on your way to a party

A perfect opportunity to point out “people to avoid” before the party.

Jam chewed tasteless gum in the hole of the cushioned seats in front of you or anywhere that won’t be checked for a while.

Attempt to start “wheels on the bus” while people look at you like you’re retarded

Make chit-chat with the people around you after realizing you’re too old to make fake bodily function noises in public anymore…boo 

Find at less one person more retarded than you and tell them they’re on the wrong bus they should be on the short bus (damn you Ron! I ain’t blue bus special!!)

Write a sorry note to your parent as you finally realize how annoying “are we there yet” really is.

Damn its 4:30…To Be Continued tomorrow