I have a pen with my name on it..ohh! You?re so jealous!
Now Playing: with some serial killers I picked up on my way to work.
Topic: Work Rants
Arrived at work without incident—I swear I’ve been accident-free for too long something big is brewing…I am so fucked. I have that stupid Nickelback song stuck in my head ‘cause Edge over plays the fuck out of it! I know you have to play Canadian content but damn man there are other Canadian bands. Anyways, I just got that bloody song out of my head when the radio on the Asskisser’s phone (all our phones have radio) starts playing…do I even need to finish this :P Time for the post:

Rant One: The Cleaning lady my old nemesis.

I got to my desk this morning and just couldn’t take it anymore. I give up one this fucking cleaning lady…

SIDE NOTE: Who I now will be calling “that lady with a cleaning cart she doesn’t seem to know what to do with” here I’ll help you…think Wax on Wax off with Windex…or is it those 80s style neon pink pants that are distracting you. “oh the colours” I empathize; they distract the hell out of me too.

Anyways, back on topic, I am feed up with my dusty, marked up and overall disgustingly dirty desk; therefore, I ran-sacked that bitch's cart and cleaned it my damned self.

ANOTHER SIDENOTE: Did I ever tell you guys about the peanut? Well, I dropped a peanut on my desk and left it there to see how long it would take for Mrs. No clean to tiny it up…well that peanut I put there over a month ago is now gone thanks to ME! MYSELF AND I!

Back on track...

okies, I’ll give Ms. No clean a break, she does keep our company’s bathroom clean—usually cleaning it while I’m trying to dirty it up --- every damn time I fucking have to go she’s there with that 100 pound cart of products she doesn’t use on my desk mocking me with a mental assault of “I can hear you pissing” AUH! Can’t I piss in peace GO AWAY! Go clean some place else. Here’s a place MY DESK! I really hate this cleaning lady so very much.

Rant number 2: Oatmeal, the Exotic breakfest

Now Oatmeal is a fairly normal morning meal, right, of course it is, so please explain to me why my co-workers take turns asking me everyday “so, what are you eating?” I reply “Oatmeal” then I have to go on and on about it like its some brand new food product I’ve discovered from some obscure country. I suppose the green margarine container is throwing them off…no, I am not eating a tub of imitation butter here, its oatmeal. Oh, and you’d just die of laughter when you see their faces when I mention I made the oatmeal myself, I am so serious It’s depressing me. They’re like WOW! You made that! Yes, yes I did. *grabs an apron to demonstrate* I took some oats from this big bag of oats, a little nutmeg, and added hot water, PRESSTO! Kid you get Oatmeal!

Yet ANother SIdeNOte: Jesus, what do they think I have a wheat field in my backyard and I mill my own oats at 4 O’clock in the morning…morons. *sigh* Why don’t these moron people form a gossip gang--gossip is not a bad thing, it saves me from repeating myself.

Back on Topic...

I had one mo fo today ask like he had been waiting a while for his turn to ask me. Well he didn’t just ask me the aforementioned retardedly obvious question he decided to inform me that he doesn’t eat Oatmeal because he is trying to lose “some pounds” *blink blink* Correct me if I’m wrong but oatmeal is healthy right? I mean it tastes nasty enough to be healthy (without the sugar I mean). I was confused by this, to say the least, even after he finished his “more information about my co-workers I don’t care to know” verbal nonsense with the tidbit that he is on the low-crab diet. Oh, I didn't realize, stupid me, not realizing "low" mean "no" crab (even the good ones) *smacks self* WOW, what a dumby I am. Well that’s nice for you, while you go die of a heat attack I’ll continue to eat my complex carbohydrates. *girlie grin*

Moku out.