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Okies,I just too bloody tired at the moment to think of something funny to say so I'll just post enries from my "Bad Things Happen to Fat People" book I'm writing. I know you'll enjoy them my love (i.e. Theresa)Benefits of the Fat
Oh don’t think old skinning tooth picks can’t benefit from us as well. We’re heat sources, you know. Stick a toe in one of my rolls and boom! You have an instant heating pad no shipping and handling required!They Just Want to Help, God Bless ‘em.
As a fat individual, I bet you’ve encountered a few of these self proclaimed awe-inspiring saints of the fatties. Oh, the good Samaritans of the skinny world, God bless them! They have this drive to remind us that we are merely skinny people trapped in a fat person’s body. Now, I’m not saying they’re not sincere, I mean they’re taking time out of their important lives to befriend the poor unfortunates(that’s us--by-the-way). Just wanting to lend a hand, and so helpful they are too, aren’t they with there "oh, try this yogurt; it's low-fat" and "this vitimin is good for weight-loss" comments. I’m sure they want us to be just as perfect as they are.
NOTE: I have dealt with a few dozen (million) of these Saints of the Fat in my life-time, actually I was blessed enough to be born into a family of them—hurray for me! My family
My family just loves to boost my confidence by damaging my self image. How they see the logic in pointing out that I’d be “so darn pretty if I just lost weight.” is beyond me. Don’t think I am not extremely thankful for the little tidbit, but come on, you’re either pretty or you’re not. Those sideburns, narrow eyes and pimples will still be there when you lose the weight. Not so Helpful Hints
So, now that I’m down why not kick me, right! They just can not resist adding with a helpful smile the old “you should exercise and eat right” Well, isn’t that just the most intellectual thing you’ve ever heard? It all inspiring and motivating, all at the same time! It’s shocking really. Now, let us get serious here, nothing annoys a fleshy human being more than a non-fleshy human being pointing out quite obvious facts they already know. Like we fatties can’t figure out the 2 plus 2 equation of exercise burns fat equal skinner you! Duh man! I feel like I’m surrounded the mentally challenged who, ironically enough, assume I’m the retard!
Posted by Moku-Sama
at 9:39 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 28 September 2005 12:19 PM EDT