DONE!
Topic: Misc.
Okies, for your viewing pleasure I have put all post in nice little categories. (Look on the side of the page for them.) But if you’re too lazy they’re listed below.

Bus Stories – Self explanatory but for the mo fos rants about Brampton/Mississauga Transit.

Misc. -- Anything I was too lazy to make a separate Category for.

My life (outside of work) – Posts about me life outside of Samsung

Pre-Samsung – posts before I started working at Samsung, mostly just ani-games (College Anime Club) stuff…I even deleted a few.

Work Rants – Rants about working in the 9th gate of Bullshit Hell!

tired...so tired...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: with the idea of killing you...but I'm too sleepy right now.
Topic: Misc.
How can it only be 11 am that’s unfair!!! (INNER HEATHER: life is unfair) *clap clap* that’s tidbit was SO helpful, damn near inspiring, I think I’m going to go kill myself now. (INNER HEATHER: no need to be sarcastic).

I’m too sleepy to write a blog entry today. Sorries. Blame Lori and her brilliant idea to take a ballet class at night when I have to get up for work for 6am.

New song for Theresa
Now Playing: My own song!! Ode to the morning Crap
Topic: Misc.
It’s only 10 am!! *grabs hair, pulls, whines, cries…finally accepts the truth* FINNNEEE! I’ll write my blog to pass the time.

I’m freezing my ass off here at work so I’m not sure if my fingers can continue to type….might fall off in mid-sentence—doubt it thou.

I’m actually enjoying the babble as I deter you away from the fact that I’m stalling. I got NOTHING! Oh, I’m sure horrible things happened to me in the last 24 hours it’s just I can’t really think straight (no, not ‘cause of the cold because I’m brain dead and stupid!).

Maybe I should write a song, haven’t done that in a while, eh, Theresa-Chan! But what should it be about…*actually thinking* (NOTE took forty minutes to write the song) it has to have the word “pooh” *dies laughing* or something about crapping in it.

WARNING!! VERY NASTY SONG!! It's about crapping, nuf, said.

Ode to the morning Crap

I wake up in a rush, dreaming about the flush
AHH this is my demise--Its food verses the toilet--I realize.
Hunger grumbles in my gut, adding to the pain in my butt
Tummy cramps in an intestine pull, my bowels scream “yo dude I’m full!”

Two minutes ‘til the bus I look around, Can’t have anyone hearing the sound
Passing gas silently with a smile, Think it may reduce the shit pile?
That was the worst thing I’ve smelt, whoops, was that leakages I felt!
Stay in, oh shit in my bum, but Alas, I know it seep out some

*chorus**rap music and vocals*

Ode to the morning crap, this is your rap
Gotta go, gotta go, satisfy me, mo fo
The morning is my hour, the time I force my power
I’m the dreaded pound, I make that awful sound
Praise me; respect me, and the Porcelain Sea!!

*end chorus*

This is bad, really bad, if it stains I’ll be very sad.
I just want to take a mornin’ pooh, and have my breakfast too
Untuck my shirt to cover my rump, maybe it will hide the browning lump
Man, and my pants were new, CRAP! The bus is here now, what will I do.

The bus’s lights a blinkin', as I’m a thinkin’
A stain I can hide but the chance of more drips is wide
Work can kiss my ass; I have to release this gas!!
Back at home on the can, THANK GOD for my bathroom fan!!!

*repeat chorus**rap music and vocals*

That's my song--too lazy to do another verse. Maybe you can do one Theresa, you're good at this stuff too.

LAzy Heather = More inserts from Bad Things Happen to Fat People!
Now Playing: BITE ME! ..oh wait..I mean...FUCKIN BITE ME!
Topic: Misc.
ahh..lazy firday! I'm beyond lazy--no thinking for moku today. So it's *drum roll* (that's lame I know, I know) *kills drum roll adds heavy metal* better?

MORE INSERTS FROM "Bad Things Happen to Fat People!"

The former fatties.

The halos burn brightly on the previously plump heads of the former fat. They’ve been to hell and back! They will invest a day explaining the little miracle if you act the least bit interested, to which no one, but the currently fat, are. The methods vary but all stories end with the smile—the “You can do it, too” smile. I’ve flashed it to my fleshy friends on occasions after entraining them with my own weight-loss success story.

The Fat Experts.

Now I must admit I was indeed one of these annoying people, proclaiming the health benefits of “good crabs vs. Bad crabs” to anyone one with a pluse. In the stepping stones of the fat mentality it’s really the beginning of the up-climb to being a “former fatty—that is, if they practice what they preach.

The Upside down Triangle Pants!

Oh, how I’ve fought a never ending battle with this evil fashion creation! Every other style goes in an out of popular demand but not the horrid Triangle Pants! I swear there is one fat chick running to every store buying up a storm of these ugly pants to keep the demand so high no retailer would dream of letting it die. *groan* I really would take a frying pan—my preferred method of maiming—to her, so help me!

TBC

Samsung FAQ: Go to Hell!

My Answer: Too late I'm already in hell.

Weirdest game of Dominos EVER!
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: me, the, guy, me, the guy (I was saying this as I bolding them)
Topic: Misc.
Okayyy…just finished a game with the Weirdest! Dude! On yahoo games EVER (We we’re playing Dominos: fives up and play ‘til 100 points). Anyways, the dude was MESSED! First off he was like SUPER slow making any moves…so annoying!! And secondly, he kept asking me stupid odd-assed questioned about numbers. He sounded like he was like “really” into numbers…like religiously!

Here is the converstation I had with him while play:

Me: hey
Me: you goin’ to go
me: hello?
Guy: I don’t like to compromise
Me: compromise what?
Guy: I like 2 win
Guy: I nwant 2
Me: ah, I get it, I thought you’d left
Guy: good
Guy: what’s urfavorite number?
Me: not five at the moment (NOTE: he just got a multiple of five at that moment)
Me: it’s actually 2
Guy: + or -2
Me: The whole number
Guy: details on why that number is likeable
Guy: ?
Guy: ‘cause I like it a lot
Me: has to do with an old joke when I was small
Guy: well Im achjiristian
Guy: andwelike tossing aobut it a lot
Me: huh?
Guy: we sing about it a lot
Me: ah…interesting
Guy: have you been in love
Me: haha funny question, I suppose not
Guy: Do you have ur on concept
Me: Huh?
Me: On love? Huh? I’m confused
Guy: what do u take 4 an upset stomache
Guy: 2 + 2
Me: 2 plus 2 is four dude, and for the upset stomache thing..umm..pepto?
Me: you ask weird questions

Then he left the table…boo…like BOOM! Gone! Where’d he go! I'm so confused!

none..I'm on strike!
Now Playing: Thoughts of killin you take up too much room in my head (no space for music)
Topic: Misc.
*spotlight* aahemm *taps tap* testin' testin' *glares from readers to start already* OKIES! Ladies and Gentlemen! I am now on google!! After the post there will be cake and refreshments. *close spotlight*

*yawn* wow! It's 3:30! how the hell'd that happen! what was I actually workin' and the time flew! or are those recyling bin flumes acting up again.

I just noticed I didn't rant about the Pizza Hut (garlic bread crust) pizza I didnt' get to eat this weekend! I didn't actually remember this on my own--no,no, it was those kind hearted co-workers of mine with their "so, heather how was that pizza" comments...BOO! Re-opened that wound, thanks. Little tidbit about me, my friends, unless I bring it up assume the worst!

So, theresa, you found the comment button *clap clap* Here's a cookie! I ran out of gold stars, sorries.

Funny Samsung FAQ: mon mp3 veu plus rien faire et l'image est figer quoi faire

My Answer: AHH!!! French! *runs from room screaming, finds a England flag and starts hittin' Frenchmen" No french, No french, ENGLISH site!! Bad! BAD! frenchmen!

some bits and pieces of
Now Playing: I
Topic: Misc.
Okies,I just too bloody tired at the moment to think of something funny to say so I'll just post enries from my "Bad Things Happen to Fat People" book I'm writing. I know you'll enjoy them my love (i.e. Theresa)

Benefits of the Fat

Oh don’t think old skinning tooth picks can’t benefit from us as well. We’re heat sources, you know. Stick a toe in one of my rolls and boom! You have an instant heating pad no shipping and handling required!

They Just Want to Help, God Bless ‘em.

Into

As a fat individual, I bet you’ve encountered a few of these self proclaimed awe-inspiring saints of the fatties. Oh, the good Samaritans of the skinny world, God bless them! They have this drive to remind us that we are merely skinny people trapped in a fat person’s body. Now, I’m not saying they’re not sincere, I mean they’re taking time out of their important lives to befriend the poor unfortunates(that’s us--by-the-way). Just wanting to lend a hand, and so helpful they are too, aren’t they with there "oh, try this yogurt; it's low-fat" and "this vitimin is good for weight-loss" comments. I’m sure they want us to be just as perfect as they are.

NOTE: I have dealt with a few dozen (million) of these Saints of the Fat in my life-time, actually I was blessed enough to be born into a family of them—hurray for me!

My family

My family just loves to boost my confidence by damaging my self image. How they see the logic in pointing out that I’d be “so darn pretty if I just lost weight.” is beyond me. Don’t think I am not extremely thankful for the little tidbit, but come on, you’re either pretty or you’re not. Those sideburns, narrow eyes and pimples will still be there when you lose the weight.

Not so Helpful Hints

So, now that I’m down why not kick me, right! They just can not resist adding with a helpful smile the old “you should exercise and eat right” Well, isn’t that just the most intellectual thing you’ve ever heard? It all inspiring and motivating, all at the same time! It’s shocking really. Now, let us get serious here, nothing annoys a fleshy human being more than a non-fleshy human being pointing out quite obvious facts they already know. Like we fatties can’t figure out the 2 plus 2 equation of exercise burns fat equal skinner you! Duh man! I feel like I’m surrounded the mentally challenged who, ironically enough, assume I’m the retard!

Now Playing: with my earwax..HAHA take thAT!
Topic: Misc.
The day is passing, that's about all I can say at the moment. Unless something interesting happens (that I can make fun of) this will be the last post today. DOn't whine to me, my last one was SO long!

Funny Samusung FAQ: yh-925gs software won't see player to add files

ANswer: *scratch head* huh? that english? wah.huh.You're player doesn'y have eyes...?

NOTE: THeresa, if it's not too much trouble, could you comment on posts as you read so I know you've read it. Thanks

Spelling is for the DEVIL! and guys named Bob (robert counts too)
Now Playing: fuck you! if I have to answer this question ONE MORE TIME!
Topic: Misc.
I'm sick of bitchin about the same damn thing...blah blah blah...so I'm not goin to say, I'm tired, bored or hungry! (which I am all three at the moment) aren't you proud of me! *moku dies from irony*

I should mention the lovely Theresa-chan on here again..been awhile...but I'm sure she can see I don't really talk about any one but myself here...I'm rather conseeded it would seem--so she's not alone in my hot-headed atempt to make this blog ALL about me.

ANyways, Thereda-chan has pretty hair, long and shiney! *phew* that was hard, I like writing meaningless crap about me better!I"m a glory-whore! ME ME ME!!

If a train hit me right now at my desk...I dont think I'd be mad
Now Playing: none: at work...booo
Topic: Misc.
I just noticed I have options! I can BOLD words! and also make them italic OH! you're so impressed by my skills!! I'm not saying they're useful skills like bow hunting skills, or hacker skills but hell they're kick ass to look at! *stares at screen* ohhh ahhh!! *blinks* well that got borin' fast..moving on!

what else can I do..I can link to something!! oh!! I can put images too!! shit man I'm goin to do that!

Amazing!! I just clicked a random picture have no idea what it is...

this post is stupid..and unfunny..i'm ending it now.