Topic: Work Rants
anonymous taste-testing at work!
So, at 12 o clock today a hazy voices comes on the speakers informing
there is a free chocolate sampling in the main lobby. I played with the
good and bad devils of lactose before realizing' I was f**king fooling
myself! With that first utter of "Free" I was SOOO there. *best super
hero impression* Cheap heather ALWAYS prevails!! UP UP AND AWAY!!
Well, when I got there I saw said chocolates BUT they were laid out
individually with long white sheets under 'em. skeptical heather raised
an eyebrow - of course with anything "free" there always a catch. :( In
this case the product was still free BUT you had to fill out a RETARDED
survey for EACH piece you tried. Which sounds like nothing but think
about doing that for 20 different kinds of chocolate/biscuit type
-- trust me, it was just plain annoying.
Anyways, I was pissed off 'cause I had to fill out this bullshit of a
survey in order to eat my chocolate (I don't even like chocolate but
damn it was FREE!)...
OH!! sorries to interrupt but I just made a little SPD* in my chair
*head pops up from cubical, scan to the right, scan to left* ALL clear!
now back to my little tale:
Anyone who knows me knows pissed off heather equal brutally honest
heather -- It was just so kind of the testers to provide me with a
comment box to vent my frustration. I know you're all thinking I'm a
whiny bitch, I should be happy with my free food..blah blah. first off
BITE ME! Second, the definition of Free is being abused here...Will no
one stand up for the word "free" damn it! Free does not mean buy a
and fries and get a free burger which actually means you only save ten
cents off combo number one. Free is not defined as do this and get this
for free! no no no! IT means I get SAID item for NOTHING! NA-DA! or
ZIPPO! fuckers! I'm not expecting the career description of a sample
"person" to include a flipping University education but I'm sure
has to read these survey therefore someone working for this cruel lie
a "free" sampling has to be able to read...can't pick up a dictionary?
can't look up a flipping word? Okies, I'm done beating this sent to the
glue factory, dead, and decaying horse...moving on!
I first tried some hazelnut chucky chocolate that looked like a tard
I was drawn to it...says alot about me, doesn't it *sigh* So, brutally
honest heather had some fun with the questionnaire (which was
oh! they were SO asking for it.
Question: Rate look?
It looks like....you know.
lucky doesn't smell like you know...more like chocolate.
Question: Would you buy this product?
No, looks like you know.
That's basically what I wrote. I ended all my surveys with "pocky is
better" which a co-worker (that guy I told you all about who likes me)
said I was mean...*pft* Get to know me longer pal, I'm a real B I T C
The next one I tired was a wafer cracker with chocolate in the middle -
they had stupid names and descriptions but I had the damn thing half
eaten before looking at question number one: Does description match the
product? um..maybe after I poop it out. haha, I SO should have written
that...I think I wrote closer enough or something. The last chocolate I
tasted was melted so I pretty much bitched the whole survey about that.
I held back a lot...didn't know if they'd dust it for prints to find me
*looks around suspiciously* now a days, you can't be too careful, ya
So, the long and short of it is I'm sick as a flippin' dog right now
from those chocolates..damn you lactose! and I have 3 hours left of
work..WOOPIE! Really, If I gave you a gun would ya kill me?
*for all those idiots the means silent but deadly.