Confessions of an Ebayer
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Topic: My life (outside of work)
*stands up and clears throat* I, heather, have a problem. *sits down*
okaayyyy, still have the urge to click "bid" that did jack shit!

Confessions of an Ebayer

What is the lure of the brightly coloured E B A and Y, you ask? Well,
Mainly -- and quite obviously -- the fact that I can sit in my underwear at 2 am in the morning eating cheesies and buy stuff! Now, I’m not completely diluted, I know there is a down side to Ebay but really, people, cheesies and underwear says it all. The benefits -- in this case -- FAR out weigh the cons, ne.

Now I don’t wanna hear any shit either, non-ebayers, get with the program: malls are so 90s! The next time you cruise the plaza in your tightie whities munchin' on deep fried cheese loggie goodness get the fuck back to me with your "the mall is the bomb" nag. You know what the mall has? It has weird smells, people asking me to "try this" and not waiting for a "no thanks" before spraying me with something toxic! and don't get me started on my biggest peeve of the mall: Teenagers. Ah fuck it, I haven't really ranted in a while so here I go. Between the Emo kids, the fucking "center of the universe" retards who can't use their "indoor voices" and those "got daddies plastic" tweets, I'm about an under-aged 13 yr old smoker away from taking an AK47 with me on my next visit to Shoppers’.

In all fairness to me, Moku need some love and understand, ya know – I have “issues” remember -- I wouldn’t even buy that much if it wasn’t for this combined shipping scam they’ve got going. After buying one item the seller informs you that if you buy more from him you get a discount on shipping. Sometimes as low as 50 cents. Come on! You can’t pooh-pooh that away! 50 fuckin’ cents! That’s the shit right there! Of course, being ME, I’ll bid on completely useless crap just for the sake of the cheaper shipping – I have a problem (we’ve been over this) I know. I EVEN ask myself as a stare at the “bid now” button, “do I really want that half eaten sandwich Tom Cruise didn’t eat.. ..50 cent shipping FUCK YEAH!!” I’m serious..well not about the half eaten sandwich but subtract cruise and sandwich, and that my friends, is the mental routine of about every purchase I’ve made in that last three months. Damn you ebay!!

So in a nut shell, yea, moku is anti-social, borderline mentally retarded and basically fucked up...therefore, in my opinion
(which is the only opinion on this blog that counts) Ebay is better. *takes a bow* Thank you. This has been a public announcement brought to you by EA (Ebayer’s Anonymous)

Moku (passed) out.