Jesus this is a long one, eh!
Every notice you don’t seem to by aware to life’s little “hey fucker, you should be paying attention to this” until you’re washing off all the excess foreshadows about 30 seconds after-the-fact. I've been smackin' my common sense for awhile now and I think we've come to an agreement...no more Rant balls. You know, first everything is a mild annoyance but continues to pack on the "oh, no she didn't" making them pet peeves 'cause you didn't think it was "that big a deal" until you want to kill someone (whether you'll get away with it or not. Well, here's my rant ball -- I got a fucktard for an driving instructor

Lesson number one!

I got a call about 12ish on Saturday from Mrs. drivin’ Instructor asking where festoon place was – okay, Instructor doesn’t know the streets in Brampton --I take this as a GOOD sign things will go well. I told her and three minutes later she was waiting in my driveway.

Now, I paid my $185 to get in-car instruction wayyy back when I first signed up with Ultimate Drivers, now you’d think that would be written down some where right? WRONG! Two second in the car with Mrs. Driving Instructor (now abbreviated to Ms. DI) I get “Cheque Please” Which I would have respected -- ‘cause I can understand the “get money first before names, hellos, and general light conversation” – if she wasn’t such a fucktard. I reply, “I already paid” and here folks is the award winning rebuttal from Ms. DI “oh, are you sure” *looks to the left, then to the right* ah, yeah I’m sure, as in I gave the nice man at the counter a debit card two months ago and clicked “ok” to $375 smackers. And since I have this pretty yellow paper right here saying I paid, a receipt from your BOSS, and my bank account is $375 in the hole, I’ll assume the transact was successful. It’s nice to know the lines of commutation between employees is wide open at Ultimate Drivers *rolls eyes*

Now I had never driven before so being all self-preserving I told her that thinking she would value her life as well and not expect too much outta me. *smacks head on desk* Ms.DI just didn’t give a fuck – apparently she wants to die – and she piss-poshed my confession away with a “yeah, I know” The actual conversation when a little like this:

Me: You know I’ve never driven before.
Ms. DI: Yeah, I know
Me: I mean, I’ve never driven, ever
Ms.DI: I know
Me: I don’t even know how to turn on the car
Ms. DI:I know.
Me: *blank stare* okkkaayyy.

At that point she had me back out of the driveway (yeah I got to go in reverse my very first time driving!) I always thought you learned to crawl then walk but Ms. DI set my straight on that one. *grin* So, now I’m driving; I tried to go slow but Ms. DI wasn’t having any of that self-preservation crap, nope, I had to match the speed of the other cars – fuck if she cared that the other drivers were SPEEDING! So, I’m now speeding on a major road that is busy as hell ‘cause Stitches is having a 50% off sale; and do you wanna know WHY, kiddies? Not for the experience, nope! I’m risking causing a major accident from complete lack of knowing what the fuck I’m doing (while speeding) because fucking “Can’t teach for shit” instructor needed to give a paper to her boss at Ultimate Drivers. Wait a flippin’ minutes here lady! You’re on MY time! And on my time there will be no death-trap driving on Queen St. NOPE NOPE NOPE! No hitting two birds with one stone on my time, honey!

It was at this point I decided I officially do not like driving!

Lesson Two (and three…stupid bitch likes to hit those birds *sigh*)

I did indeed decided the last week that I hated driving but (for some reason) I didn’t clue in to Ms. DI being the cause. I actually thought she was just preachy-keen UNTIL lesson two and three -- which she slapped together without really asking me. She just told me, “we’ll do two lessons today ‘cause I have no others booked” okkkkayy, sure –

SIDENOTE: Jeanie didn’t drive me home on Friday so I had to take public transit. While waiting for the 1A bus something flew up in to my left eye. I tried to blink it out but it made it worst. So, me being an idiot rubbed my eyes raw for about 4 hours before I got home (I went to the mall). It was there that I realized I looked like a drug addict. My eye was KILLin’ me! I couldn’t even watch TV so I just went to bed at 9:30.

Back on track…

So, my eye was hurtin’ like a son of a bitch but I thought what the hell, Theresa isn’t coming over why not drive around in a big metal machine! I actually contemplated telling her I didn’t feel up to driving but really I wasn’t about to argue and start another “I know” conversation circle. She really didn’t seem to care that she was in serious danger the last time so *shrug*

Anyways, after an hour of driving around making a few “whoops! My bad” moves ‘cause of my failing vision in my left eye and the blurriness of the right from a growing headache – really, I should have said something, whatta think? – Ms. DI gets on the Cellphone. I should have mentioned this before but this chick is ALWAYS on the phone. Who is she talking to, fuck I should know I don’t speak what ever Indian language she speaks. Another thing I should point out when you’re learning to drive and you have a headache from a possibly blind left eye DON’T listen to Indian music – not the time or place, Ms. DI, now TURN IT off!! (NOTE: I had to listen to that for the whole two hours *groan*) Getting back on topic, Ms. DI was on the cell phone talking in whatever language when she noticed a girl didn’t sign some sheet – which, by the way, is Ms. DI’s fault but in her head it's completely this teen’s blunder *rolls eyes* SO now I have to drive to Fortinos so Ms. DI can get this signature or it’s her ass on the line (not mine, thou, but that doesn’t matter -- Moku’s time doesn’t matter, remember…boo *throws stone at Ms. DI* I’ll give you your two birds!)

Okies, I thought Queen St. was bad, no; I was so wrong, so very wrong. Fortinos on a Saturday afternoon is a NIGHTMARE!! But at least she let me go 20m/h for once. I went into the place with her (‘cause I didn’t see the point in waiting like an idiot in the drivers seat while other cars honked at me for the parking space. Long store short, we didn’t find the girl, didn’t get the sheet signed and moku is a bit more traumatized about driving.

Now, back on the roads *sign* When I thought I just couldn’t take anymore, it started snowing. Awww..look at the pretty snow..NO wait! SNOW!! And it wasn’t just snow it was hail, wind and snow! I’m not prepared for this shit! Moku wants to go home! But Ms. DI wants to get paid so that’s outta the question. SO, it’s snowing like a mother and what does Ms.DI want heather to do! Learn left hand turns! OH goodies! The slippery roads will make this go smoothly – minus the fact that my left eyes is throbbing! I’m fine, really. *forced smile*

Edit: OMG how could I forget the clicking noise!! THis chick (Ms. DI of course) made this God-awful distracting as HELL noise with her noise and throat every fuckin' time I make some mistake. Didn't matter is it was a small little "didn't look over your shoulder" or a full on stop in the middle of an intersection. I didn't get an explaination after the first clicking either, nope, once she knew I understood her code language of clickin' she just clicked away and I had to scramble my brian for what the hell I just did wrong 'cause I've never driven before so I have no clue and she not tellin' me...*sigh* I really hate driving. :(

Well, I pulled though it, as I’m still here to whine about it but guess who isn’t here, kiddies! Oh, just guess? RIGHT Mr. DI!! 9:00am sharp, Ultimate Drivers got a call from Heather requesting another in-car teacher. Now, I’m not cruel, I didn’t mention WHY I wanted another one. I just made up some excuse about differing schedules. So, in closing to this VERY long rant BYEBYE Ms. DI, well all miss you..NOT!!!