Long ass story about leaky lunch bags--funny thou!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: oh! don't even mess with me this morning! I'll throw peaches at you!
Topic: Bus Stories
Another installment of EMBARASSING THINGS HAPPEN TO HEATHER! (What are we on now? Four or five million…*sign* )

Leaky shit drips on me

Riding the bus like every bloody day talking to mich—who was telling me about the amusing ending to Q & F (for all those who care that’s code for Queer As Folk, long story—well not really—but I dunno wanna get into right now) Anyways, I rang the bell to get off at our stop when I looked down at my skirt and you wanna know what I saw! BIG ASS STAIN! Right on the white flower part! Of course it HAD to be right in the middle near my crouch, ‘cause the fate need some more laughs at heather’s expense.

I got off the bus trying to act normal (like no one saw the big wet spot *smacks head*) I grabbed my lunch bag and searched for the culprit! I had some canned peaches in a Tupperware container, so I assumed that was the leaking offender! I took that mo fo out and gave it a stern talking to…seriously…people in their cars thought I was nuts, yelling “BAD canned peaches” at the container in my hand. (I’m starting to think I really am insane…or have no regard for proper social behavior)

Waiting for the 11 bus I used a Wet nap to clean the browning stain as mich continue to mutter the EVER-SO-HELPFUL “That’s not going to work” Thanks mich, I’ll just walk around with a brown stain on my crouch, leaving people to come to their own conclusion to its origins—at least if I look like I’m trying to get it out people will get that it’s a stain and not shit!

After leaving mich at Shopper’s World I hopped on the evil bus and sat down. Only to notice that brownish liquid was STILL leaking out of my lunch bag! THAT”S BULLSHIT! I’ve been holding these peaches for two bus rides—which made me look stupid!--to have THEM NOT BE the evil food item that stained my skirt!! OH! Bravo *clap clap* having a good laugh up there *looks up to the sky*

I had to walk thru the field to the Samsung building holding a can of peaches and a wet-ass lunch bag at arms length—got a few stares I can tell you. Up on the 9th floor I found the REAL guilty party! It was my can of soup! Yeah, the sealed can of chicken noodle! The peaches in a crappy 1989 container that’s been melt 20 times in the microwave didn’t leak ONE DAMN BIT! It was the factory sealed brand new can of soup! For Jesus sake! That’s BULL SHIT!!!

NOTE: despite Mich negativity I did get most of the stain out with the wet nap.